How did this whole Duck Dynasty controversy make me feel, as a human being who, yes, happens to be gay?
A little less human. And as a believer of the worth of humanity, I felt a little less of value. Ostracized from the majority of humanity and discarded carelessly in the name of exalting a personal opinion. It was like a heavy weight, depressing onto my heart; like a helpless child with her feelings hurt.
It wasn't Phil Robertson's comments in themselves that really had me feeling this way, but the responses to them. It was people's willingness to side with a man who is neither struggling nor suffering from this (he is still a millionaire, after all), who is in the most powerful and privileged demographic in America (wealthy, white, straight male) at the expense of the worth of the feelings of those genuinely hurt and further disenfranchised by his comments and how easily the feelings of their fellow humans were disregarded and made out to be not important, meaningful or valuable. Equality was not present in this backlash - one human's worth was set above another's.
And Christians appeared to become more concerned with themselves and this perceived "persecution"instead of counting others more significant than themselves (Philippians 2:3) and taking the time to consider who may have been hurt, why they were hurt, and what they could do to heal this pain (in line with Christ's constant example, if you want to reference how He dealt with the people who constantly touted the "law" versus how He dealt with those whom were targeted by those Pharisees). Rather, they seemed so concerned with reminding everyone for the 10 millionth time what their definition of sin is. If taking on the cause of God includes disregarding the pain and feelings of people (a pain that has led the countless of suicides in regards to other manifestations of this specific, root issue), then I'd question the love of that God.
Except I don't question the love of God. So I know that this way of doing things is not right.
These arguments neglect to remember the very real humans with very real emotions at the heart of them. Careless words are thrown around, in the name of God, but can something really be in the name of God if it's cutting down one of His creation? I'm not even talking about the quoting of Bible verses (though that is a whole other matter), but the commentary that follows.
You may think you're targeting a sin, but you're really hitting a person. Your intent doesn't matter, because it is the effect that ends up having any real bearing.
So I felt bad about myself. As a whole. Not about what you consider a "sin" (which as a complete virgin, I'm not even partaking in), but about myself as a human being. Because your words demeaned me into something less human. A "deviant" subset separate from yourselves - so now I'm not just hurt but also ostracized. Always aware of how different I am, how people implicitly view me as less because of this separate category they've pigeon-holed me into (separate is never equal), and since I don't quite belong, I feel like I'm not quite up to par. All over something I cannot control.
Which I realize is another source of controversy that also breeds a bit of pain. The demeaning of my relationship with Christ every time someone dismisses the claim that sexuality is not a choice, not of my control, cannot be changed. It's interesting, because it doesn't bother me from a place of pride, but I realized that it bothers me so much because my relationship with God through Christ is the absolute, single most importantly valuable thing in my life. It is the single definition of my life. For people to say my sexuality is a result of not yielding to Him or not being close enough to Him or putting myself before Him or whatever, it pains me because I love God so much that I could cry from the emotion that declaration breeds. I am far from perfect, I know, but you still have no say in the validity of my relationship with Him.
I'm filled with His Spirit by which He has promised to make me more into His image (Colossians 3:9-10, for starters) - a very real process of sanctification that I have been continually experiencing. And it's unsettling that in the times that I have been vulnerable and earnest enough to tell my story, to share my experience of God in regards to my sexuality, it's almost immediately dismissed as me not being able to distinguish God's voice, being deceived by the enemy, or a slew of other things that people who aren't close enough to me in my daily walk have no right to assume.
I know my Father's voice (John 10:27); if I can't be sure of that, then what does that say about the fabric my faith? And I trust Him to be constantly pursuing me and my well-being, because that is what I've been experiencing for years. With the full weight I put on our relationship, would He really lead me astray and to destruction? And who is anyone to tell me that I'm not fully and selflessly yielding to God? It's simply something no one can rightfully judge for they do not know the depths of my heart like He and I do.
So those words - they're emotionally hurtful and spiritually demeaning (not to mention presumptuous, which stems from pride, and insulting). I don't think the Gospel is about policing. I don't even think it's about esteeming our own beliefs - at least not in the way we do it, which with all this talk about "persecution" seems to stem from a place of self-preservation more than anything. It's about people and their well-being (to admittedly simplify one aspect of it).
And if people are hurting, we seek to end that. And if people are hurting by our hands, we change up what we're doing. Because that is the true way to serve God - by serving His people (Matthew 25:40). God wants us defending the human worth of His people, and that has nothing to do with whether or not you think they're actively participating in sin or not. No one's sexuality or anything else discredits them from being treated like a human, which as believers in God, we believe humanity has such a precious, valuable worth, and we need to make sure that worth is esteemed and thus treat people accordingly. Part of that involves being sincerely concerned for their emotional condition.
We must perpetuate a love that puts ourselves completely aside to genuinely work to take away their pain and remove their suffering, which is deeply intertwined into the ultimate purpose of God (Revelation 21:4) that we are to work towards. Christ Himself said that He was not sent to condemn that world (John 3:17), yet how are Phil Robertson's words anything but such (especially given the context and the way it came off, which I do realize not everyone will agree with)? Jumping on his bandwagon misses the point of all of what Christ set out to achieve in this world. You can defend a man for pointing out what he thinks is wrong in people, or you can reach out and personally care for people in the name of wholeness and healing.
People are sad, people are hurting, people are suffering, people are broken, people feel like they're not valuable, people are in pain (I have witnessed this personally, and it crushes my heart) - let us put all of our focus on that and not forget about each and everyone's individual humanity. God hasn't, and He wants all of us to get on board with that completely and genuinely.
Act in love. Please humbly understand that there is no love actually being reaped from much of the dialogue surrounding the gay issue, regardless of your intent, but rather I and others see this support of Robertson and the words being said on our news feeds as hurtful and dehumanizing (especially as the terrible things he said about black people have been completely disregarded in order to champion this man). You focus so much on the "gay"; you forget our shared humanity and thus disregard how sad this all makes us.
For this anger you see - it's bred from the pain of being barraged and outcasted. And I beg you to have empathy and understanding, to set aside your biases and defensiveness and just consider deeply what I have said. Because I care too much about all of these people to see them continually hurt and suffer at the hands of both overt and subtle oppression (amongst other things).
Everyone matters and all emotional pain has equal merit. Abide by your own definition of sin in your personal lives, but when it comes to others, serve and care for them so that may find healing from their pain and hurt caused by the words, actions and sentiments of others. And please especially take care not to be the cause of such pain yourselves.
Here's another blog post about taking the emphasis off of what you believe about homosexuality and turning up the emphasis of practical love: http://intheparlor.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/what-you-believe-about-homosexuality-doesnt-matter/
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